Monday, July 26, 2021

CW: Mental Health

 I'm at that age where my hormones are running amok, again. For me, perimenopause is like post pregnancy hormones, times 100. 

After my heart attack, my symptoms disappeared for over a year. Then, on my 51st birthday, it was like I flipped a switch, and my body said, "Hey, she's healthy now, we can make her miserable in every way again!" And so it has.

So the hot flashes are back, including night sweats that wake me up constantly through the night. Which means I am not sleeping well. So then we add insomnia to the list of symptoms. 

Saturday, July 17, 2021

Still here and mostly healthy

 I recently quit my job. My manager got pushed out, and I didn't like the money grubbing route the new DM/corporate was trying to push us. You know, the usual story of same crap payrate, less payroll, and more work. So yeah, one less stressor in my life.

The bad thing about that though, is that at least at work I moved. Not working, I sit. So guess who joined a gym?! It me! I've pretty much recreated my cardiac rehab, so I do treadmill, cross trainer, the hated stationary bike, and a wee bit of the elliptical. Because right now, 5 minutes on the elliptical kicks my arse. But eventually I will get to 20 minutes, and then the bloody bike can go the hell away.

I'm doing cardio 3 days a week, and thinking about going two days for strength training. But I can't lie, I find the machines a little intimidating. And really, I wake up three days a week, thinking how much I don't want to go to the gym. I make myself go. Two more days a week might end me, haha.

I'm trying really hard to go back to portion control, too, as I have been kind of sloppy since the start of the summer. And my jeans are tight enough to prove it. I just bought new jeans, I don't want to have to go up a size, so.... I also had to stop buying sweets. My sugars have been all over the place this summer, No where near where they originally were, but still higher than I want them to be. I am a little afraid to go to the doctor in August.

It helps that more fruits are in season. Grapes, strawberries, blueberries, etc. So I get my sweets there, and the natural sugars don't seem to piss my body off as much. And I still keep a box of SweeTARTS on the counter, for a little snack here and there.

I mostly know which foods are going to spike my sugars, so I can either avoid them, or just walk on my treadmill for 30 minutes after I eat. Walking seems to be pretty key to keeping my sugars in check, and my heart happy.

For me.

It's been a long winter. Mentally, I feel even worse off than I was before, though things are finally looking up. I abandoned the gym. I...