Had an argument with my mom yesterday. She's "hurt" that I haven't been back to visit for years now, but my oh so perfect sister and her family finds the time to go see her. Well, let's see... They live no more than a few hours away from my mom, I live more than 12 hours away. Not to mention the fact that I am flat broke. Something she doesn't understand, because she's never had to worry about money, ever. Nor does she grasp the concept of work, because she's never had to do that either. I'm just supposed to walk into work at my busiest time of the year (this week and next have the potential to be $10k weeks) and say, "My mom's nagging at me, so I need to take a week off and go see her," leaving my department with no one who knows what the hell they are doing? 'Cause that wouldn't get me fired....
Part of the problem of course, is that I haven't told my mom about our financial struggles until now, because frankly, I'm a big girl and I don't need to tell my mommy all of my troubles. It's not like she would help anyway. So she really has no idea how bad things are right now and when I try to tell her, she doesn't really listen because it doesn't go with what she wants to hear.
I brought up the fact that we haven't been back to see my husband's family since the kiddo was 5, (she's 13 now!) and all I got was, "Well that's different because it costs thousands of dollars to go see them!" But really, it's not. $500 vs $5000, it's all the same when you don't have it. And the fact still remains that we've not seen anyone but my mother in law in much longer than my mother has gone without a visit.
I feel she's being very selfish, and trying to make me feel selfish in return, that good ol' Catholic guilt trip. At some point I am going to send her an email, because obviously I can't talk to her on the phone about this without both of us getting upset. As far as she is concerned, she's right and a good daughter would fall in line and come visit. As far as I am concerned, winter is coming and all of the good bridges are already taken, and I really have no desire to live under one anyway, which is what happens if I lose my job. Or Gods forbid, we move in with my mother!
